I haven’t been in Taos for two weeks just yet – Tuesday eve it will be so – but time moves slow here – I’ve made it as such. Imposed solitude. Turning down invites to chill with the other artists, to go to a Bob Marley dance party at a gallery, and right now I could be drinking and watching the Superbowl with some passionate intellectuals … but no, I am in my casita … blogging … what a DORK!
A quick update on how I am spending my artist residency – the spiral nature of my time thus far. First – motivation, enthusiasm, excitement spiraled to overwhelm, exhaustion, lethargy and then back around slowly to productivity, awe, creative bliss … Emotions; they are always shifting, changing like clouds in the sky or waves in the sea. The thing is, underneath all of that emotional stormage and weather there’s a clear blue space. And I work with that. I try to work with that.
I’ve been re-visiting The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Every day I’ve done my morning pages diligently (3 pages of writing whatever aka “brain drain”). She suggests every week we go on a solo “Artist Date” – take ourselves out and do something fancy and inspiring. See music, visit a museum, taste the local culture, go for a walk. Since I’m on a residency, every day feels like a date but I try to shake it up. I’ve been hiking a bunch, a small mountain – Devisadero Trail. Also the rim along the Rio Grande River Gorge …
I bring a notebook and write lyrics down during or after the hikes. I check out the wildlife – bighorn sheep, magpies, crows, white-bellied & long eared squirrels. I try not to think. I really try not to go to deep and dark on my hikes … I’ve been taking a break from my personal facebook and trying really hard to limit my social media. If any of you have followed this blog, you know I’ve been a real advocate of twitter – even took a class on it – but I’m falling away from all of that. If this year has taught me anything, I would like more of a private life. I tend to share every goddamn thing, always asking for advice or validation even without thinking that’s what I’m after (advice/validation). My ex husband called “likes” and “retweets” happy buttons. I’m trying to come to a place where those happy buttons don’t give me that mini endorphin rush. And so, the silence of the gorge. And so, imposed seclusion, turning down really fun social opportunities.
But I’m getting shit done. I’m, as my friend / bass player Sean said, “hearing my own goddamn self think.” Imagine that.
I finally recorded my yoga song that I’ve sung to my students since 2009. Please enjoy a free download below. Take in the well-loved tinkling of the Wurlitzer piano …
I am hearing my own goddamn self think. I’ve been purchasing newspapers instead of seeing what goes viral. While reporters too are biased, my news is coming in slow and I’m processing at my own pace. There is so much suffering in the world right now … I hope you’re all hanging in.
While I’m not entirely sure what the future holds post-residency, definitely my yoga studio will exist another year (i signed a two year lease – ha!), I am looking forward to more of a private life, continuing my quality over quantity show philosophy and being very deliberate and even slow about all of my choices. Becoming more of a Taurus. Slow food. Slow travel. Trying to be there for my loved ones more after recovering from this fucked up year when everyone was helping me. I’m learning what’s important, and happy buttons aren’t the answer to inner peace …
More soon … Peace and love from the high desert,